How Honeybee met JF

Since this month marks the anniversary of when we “met”, I thought I would share our odd little story.

Yes, we are another one of those couples that met online, though for some reason, I always forget that. Maybe its because our romance didn’t really start there, or maybe it’s just so long ago, that it feels as if we have known each other forever.

Anyway new to chatting as I was, I got some random message from a guy “S”. We had a decent little talk and some time later the same guy sends another message, but asking who I was, etc. As it turns out the first guy had left our chat up on the screen but was using another guy’s computer. Yeah, you guessed it. JF’s computer!

I never imagined we would ever be together. For one thing, he was in India. For another, we were both seeing other people, although both relationships were headed south. We continued chatting regularly. One time I even saw him on webcam, from work (tsk tsk). Months passed and he told me he would be coming to US for work. We both admit that it crossed our minds right away about meeting! But we didn’t discuss it. He tells me now he was really excited to think about meeting me, but I’m not sure In the meantime, both of our previous relationships ended and he came to work in the state next to mine. I don’t think this changed much between us. We went on chatting as usual. On occasion we would “joke” about meeting. A few times we talked on the phone. Slowly the thought of meeting started to get more serious. Unfortunately, he had no car, little money and was rooming with other people, and my situation wasn’t much different. To make it short, we didn’t have the opportunity, not at that time.

It hurts sometimes to think of what happened next.  There were complications. Not between us, but in our own personal lives. And somehow our chatting dropped to rare status. Life shifted course. It would be a year later that we crossed paths again, and this time we were back with a vengeance! Sparks flew, Birds sang, and I think the Earth’s rotation just might have been altered verrry slightly. But there were still complications…

It never ceases to amaze me how one minute seemingly unimportant action can change one’s whole future in an instant. I want to say a big thank you to “S” for connecting two soulmates, albeit unknowingly!

Our Slumdog Review

We finally got to see this movie recently so decided to share our review with you guys. I’m going to try not to give away anything important, but if you haven’t seen it, you *may* not want to read on. What I am writing is both of our opinions, unless specified.

Now… on to the Q&A (BTW, this movie was based on a book titled “Q&A” by Vikas Swarup)

1. What was the best part?
Definitely, the answer to this is the child actors. They were awesome!! And not just for the cuteness factor, nor the irony(I later found out they are actual slum kids). They were just really good actors.

2. What do you think of the lead actor, Dev Patel?
He is ok. He did a decent job, but not outstanding. I could tell he was not born and raised in India… It was clear through his mannerisms. (Interestingly, JF didn’t pick up on that.)

3. And what about the lead actress, Freida Pinto?
Well…. she was …. just too model-y. Too, I don’t know. Perfect?
We much preferred the “middle” or younger teen “Latika”. She was very pretty but looked more real and, dare I say, more Indian.

4. Were there any song and dance numbers typical of most Indian movies?
Not during the movie, though there were a couple songs which played in the background here and there(like in Hollywood movies), but at the end, as the credits played there was one. And the shocking thing was, the other movie goers, mostly American, actually sat through the credits to watch it.

5. Some articles have been criticizing the movie for portraying a western stereotype of India. Do you agree?
Overall, no. Maybe the call center, and definitely the Taj Mahal, but its showing of India itself (not necessarily the characters) were pretty real. They did show the gap between rich and poor but not much in between. And it wasn’t meant to be a documentary, so that’s fine. I felt most of the things shown aren’t what Americans think or know about India. Thank goodness there were no snake charmers!

6. Any final bits?
Nice cinematography. Shows a good movie can be made without lots of skin. Curse words not translated in the subtitles, haha! There were many good parts/actors of course, I can’t write everything here.  The torture scenes may have been too extreme.

**No points added for bathroom humor, though the audience did seem to enjoy it.

Lost in translation

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alright Y’all…. Kannada is HARD!  I didn’t expect it to be easy but… not this hard! I feel like I can’t grasp any more of it than I knew a few years ago and that’s almost nothing. The words are long. The sentences complex. And I know a bit of 2 other Indian languages!!!!! I don’t find them nearly this difficult. 

Some of it might be age. What a depressing thought that is. Am I too old to learn this? Darn. Some of it is definitely exposure, meaning that I haven’t had any. I’m staying positive, thinking that will change and it will slowly get easier, but when I try to learn…. I lose my faith. I’m retaining very little. 

Have you ever seen the Sex and the City scene where Carrie is in Paris at a restaurant and everyone at the table is speaking French? That is going to be me! Except much dorkier, and sitting on the floor eating with my hands.

Vicco

A while ago in India,  I had bought some vicco toothpaste on an impulse. I had not really checked the ingredients, but once I did I saw it had parabens and SLS in it. So disappointing for what is supposed to be herbal and ayurvedic. This is a concern to me with moving to India. A lot of things don’t have a proper list of ingredients at all. At the same time, most of the traditional and all natural remedies are falling at the wayside being deemed too old fashioned and inferior to the modern products.  It’s unfortunate.

The other day, I was in my local health foods store and I noticed they also carry Vicco!  Next time I go I’ll check if the ingredients on this are any different. It’s unlikely, but worth a shot. I have heard the vicco powder does not have the parabens though.

In the meantime, looks like I will be sticking to my usual fennel toothpaste.

TMI, but…

I’ve been thinking, if I move to India, I really need to buy at least two(or three) good bras. I guess the obvious thing is, I need to do that even if I don’t move to India, but for some reason it seems an urgent matter if we move.  Strange the way the mind works.

I can never find a good bra. I need one that is comfy, has support, and actually fits.  A tall order? Any recommendations? (Close your eyes, guys, if there are any guy readers that is!)

Disclaimer: I’m not typically one who talks about her bras, or lack thereof, in public, but the anonymity online does wonders! *wink*

Coming soon: our review on Slumdog Millionaire

Where has the time gone?!

I know it’s been  a long time since I’ve updated this blog.  It seems so hard to find time to write and I’m not even a busy person!

I have several things on the back burner…. I hope to get to some of them soon!

Reflections

Is it silly to think so much about something which may not even happen? Probably. C’est la vie. Ou, c’est moi? Je ne sais pas et je ne parle pas francais. I think thinking too much is frying my brain.

Well, if it does fail to happen, which may be a good thing, I might feel foolish sharing all this, but I will do it anyway. Isn’t that what blogging is all about? hehe. I’ve already started planning what to pack, and many other logistics. Yes, I’m a dork.

To get to the point, we had been discussing our feelings on the possible move. One topic that came up are things we will miss from our life here. 

Starting with obvious ones, personal freedoms. Here there is no one to pry into our personal choices, and can pretty much get away with doing whatever we choose without anyone batting an eye. And we do have a lot of choice! Although I don’t expect most of my lifestyle choices to raise eyebrows in India, I am expecting to be the subject of relatively more gossip.

Another personal choice is the opportunity to live a fairly healthy lifestyle if you want to. Namely, organic and natural products. In India labeling is sketchy at best, and adulteration is rampant. There’s another side to that, but I will get to it later.

Then of course, the things we take for granted… safe(ish) water, smooth easy driving roads, A/C, and especially – less bugs!

A big one, possibly the biggest one we will miss is earning in dollars. Ugh. Neither of us are big spenders and I’m sure we will be okay while in India, assuming the employment is good, but saving in rupees to return to US  is almost futile. Boo hoo.

Which reminds me of the next one… joint family living. No, we wont be living in one of those ultra modern high-rises in the fancy schmancy part of town. We will be living with them. 0.O Well, sort of, not exactly, but yes. I’ll save a special post just about that one, lol. Actually, I’m not opposed to it at all, nor do I have unrealistic expectations. I don’t foresee it being a huge problem, but I’m used to independence for the most part. I’m also largely adjusting. More of that later.

I’ll probably add more later, but for now, I will end with …. yes, are you all thinking it?        Are ya?    What. am. I. gonna. do. without……… Toilet Paper.     I guess I really mean the whole bathroom situation. I don’t mind washing with a bucket, but one day I may miss a hot shower. I can see it happening. And I admit it, I don’t really like a wet bathroom. I can squat pee in Indian toilets with the best of them, and I can clean with water too… but for how long? I guess I will find out. I can see myself getting tired of that, but I also think I can deal.(I know tp is available there. I have the impression its expensive though, and I don’t think my IL’s pipes can take it. Plus its wasteful. Oh, that and pads! Ack!!)

Two common things that are not on my list are family/friends and food. It’s not that I haven’t thought of them, but I’m not expecting them to be major factors for me. 

What about you? Have you given any thought to it, or what you would miss? If you live in India after living in the west, what things do you miss?

To India and beyond!?

OK, this might be a bit premature to say, but I can’t help myself…

We might be moving to India. There I said it.

It’s not definite, but if so, it would be in the very near future. As you can imagine, I have a TON of things to say about this!!! Plus a hundred different thoughts and emotions.

Stay Tuned…

My genius Jackfruit and his incredible grains

I’m a bit of a health freak but JF is probably freakier. He believes that if one thing is good, mixing a bunch of good things must be even better. Maybe he is right.

Sometimes we have a mix of grains instead of rice. It sounds creepy but its actually pretty good! And its completely his invention.

Soak equal parts of the following:

Barley

Rye

Spelt

Wild rice

Bring to boil along with 2:1 parts of water

Reduce to a simmer and add in (faster cooking)

Red and white quinoa

Millet

Amarnath

Roasted buckwheat (kasha)

He also throws in some whole spices.

Cover and cook around 15 mins. Voila.

**Be sure to add in enough water in 2:1 ratio for the latter grains as well**

We’ve been tagged!!

The lovely and charming Elizabeth of A Good Traveler, has given us the honor of our very first tag. Let’s see…. Here are the rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3) Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I have to admit it took quite an effort, including a long walk together discussing this, to come up with our 6 Random things. Perhaps we think too much. Anyways…

Jackfruit :: Honeybee

1. Has a black dot on his tongue :: Has gray ring around her irises

2. Drinks his coffee/chai ridiculously scalding hot :: Likes hers after about 10 minutes, just above warm

3. Has a strong aversion to mushy foods, like dahi vada :: Hogs anything which has a dip or chutney

4. Loves the color black and owns too many black shirts :: Most of her shirts are red, pink, or orange, though she claims her fav color is blue

5. Wears socks all the time :: Doesn’t like wearing socks, shoes, or having feet under the blankets

6. Had at least 4 dogs named Ruby. All were male. :: She adores cats, and of course, he is allergic to them.

Thanks again to Elizabeth! I don’t really know a lot of people in the blog world yet but we would like to tag a few cool bloggers where we love to lurk *blush*.

Minnie at Minnesotameetskarnataka

Heather at IndianTies

Cyn at Cyns adventure in India

Oh darnnit! Just found out that one of my new fav bloggers has quit.  Paul from India in my nightie. You will be missed.

You might be married to a Indian if…

13. You see “chicken marsala” on the menu, think of masala and get excited.

12. While shopping, you find yourself saying “I can get this cheaper in India”.

11. You don’t blink an eye calling people who aren’t your relatives as aunty and uncle.

10.  You watch movies just for the songs.

9. You know what IST is, and you plan get togethers for at least an hour before you want it to start.

8. People begin to notice that your wardrobe has become more colourful.

7. When you’re sick, you reach for ginger tea instead of cough syrup

6. You use words like “ulta” and “chalta hai” because there’s just no better way to put it.

5. You prefer to get your eyebrows shaped by an Indian woman with a thread/string

4. You know the difference between parsley and cilantro

3. You’re not surprised when a friend goes for vacation and comes back with a new bride.

2. You can easily pronounce names like Venkataramanan Balasubramanian

And last but not least….

1. You’re an expert at the squat-and-pee.

Lookie who is switching sides!

Even Sarah couldn’t resist…

Go Obama!!!

Happy Deepavali!

Priceless! And overpriced?

I think this video is making the rounds online, and it is pretty funny.

I wonder how many women’s first thought was about that dang dress.

Just what is it about weddings? Especially in times when people have sex, live together, and sometimes have children before getting married, why is the wedding this big humongous deal? Oh, of course, I can understand making it special, sharing with family and friends, making that commitment to each other, and getting prettied up. But I CANT understand spending ridiculous amounts of money on it, often more than they can afford. Nor becoming obsessively stressed out that every minute detail be absolutely perfect.

In America girls grow up with fairy princess ideas about love and marriage. The phrase, “But its MY DAY!” being whined incessantly, is part of a brides repetoire. Now we have shows like Bridezilla and Say Yes to the Dress. Sometimes it looks like the wedding day is given more imortance than the marriage itself. I guess alot of it comes down to it being “fun” to plan such things, and I get that, I do, but some people take selfishness and unwise spending to a whole new level.

In India, the demands for dowry and extravagance can be equally disgusting. Although I do think weddings there happen on more of a “normal” scale, other than the number of guests (and not counting the uber rich) competition abounds to wearing more gold, having best caterers and being more lavish than “xyz’s” wedding. Spending a family’s life savings or worse, going into debt is sad and seems like a waste.

As for the woman in the video, well, I hope she still had a beautiful day after changing into a dry tshirt and jeans and I wish her many happy memories in the years to come, because really, thats what its all about!

The other side

Being part of an intercultural couple has its share of benefits.

One of the best things is getting to see a completely different side of things. Traveling to India gets you an insiders pass, not the lonely planet guidebook tour. There’s an entire pool of diverse past experiences and knowledge to delve into and compare. It also gives a new insight to your own culture, things you may not have thought about before…. on both ends.

A downside is there are times when you cant avoid thinking about racism, real or imagined. Was that a stare out of curiousity or a sinister thought? And crossing through small towns, I have to admit, I feel a little self-conscious.

Most of the time though we forget there is any difference at all!

Axis of Evil cookbook

A creative way of breaking down cultural barriers… what better way to do it than with food?!

Find it here

Sample recipes from the book

Disclaimer: we arent terrorists, nor do we refer to countries as “axis of evil”, nor do we hate puppies.

Deep Fried PDA

Recently we spent a few hours down at the state fair. Besides all the Mccain/Obama stickers(What is the need to advertise this on your body at a statefair? Really?) we noticed a couple of things.

First, there was the food. It seems like 60% of the fair was food, and 99% of it was deepfried, or meat, or both. Not to mention there were only the same few things, just 15-20 of each(15 funnel cake booths, 18 corn dog stands, etc). Deep fried turkey legs eaten like cavemen eating lollypops. Fried oreos, twinkies, snickers bars, cheesecakes. Not even the poor vegetables could escape the deepfryer…. green tomatoes, okra, sweet potatoes. Anything you can imagine, it was there and it was submerged in a vat of oil. Is it a wonder that Americans have weight problems?

Speaking of things which are “hot”…. I had the honour of observing some lovey-dovies who were kind enough to share their intense and unabashed love of each other with the whole audience. So sweet really. {BARF}

I can’t understand why there is a sudden urge and need to show passion in public. Why not do these things privately? Nibbling of necks, snuggling your legs around each other and holding of butts are really too intimate for me and everyone else(including kids) to see. It’s as inappropriate as fighting in public. Keep your dirty laundry and your dirty deeds at home!

Or just go and lick your fried twinkie instead.

Yes, Another….

One more silly blog to spew our random thoughts out into cyberspace. Reminds me of something else people can’t get enough of